Pestilence got distracted by a kombucha fermentation.
Famine owns four air fryers and no shame.
God tried to fire them, but they unionized.
Heaven’s IT tried resetting their prophecy calendar, but it defaulted to 1999.
They missed Armageddon because they were waiting for a rideshare.
Famine co-owns a juice bar called “Empty Inside.”
Famine got food poisoning and hasn’t forgiven hummus.
Famine’s new favorite phrase: “I don’t do carbs or collapse.”
Turns out the end of the world is coming... it’s just buffering.
Famine went vegan and now can’t bring himself to destroy crops.